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As I Were A Ghost

by O Youth

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1.
Destinations 03:46
I've got this itch in my throat, and I'm clearing it out. I can't tell you for how long I've wanted to just get it out of my head. I've got this pain in my leg, and I'm walking it out. I can't say for how long I've wanted to just get up and walk again. I want you to know where I"m coming from. Why am I saying that? I can't share the same things with you that I could with somebody else. I've got this friend of mine making me think I should let her in. I can't see her any way other than helping me, sent to me now. Would you tell me the same thing I told you when you were me? If I wanted to ask for help, now I can. Ask for help! Now I can!
2.
3.
I want them buried and buried alive. I want them buried and buried alive. I cannot stay up with these guys today. I cannot keep up with my name in the street light spying on the cars in the driveway. I cannot keep up with my own good name. Down to the delta, those southern blues. Oh, I wouldn’t write them without telling you. Walk south, but look north, and hide your feet. Oh, why would you tell me without telling me? I want them buried and buried alive. I want them buried and buried alive. I just can’t live with this disguise, no way. Quit playing ghost town and running away to the front porch, saying that you’re high when you’re hiding. Quit playing ghost town, and don’t you lie to me. Down to the delta, those southern blues. Oh, I wouldn’t write them without telling you. Walk south, but look north, and hide your feet. Oh, why would you tell me without telling me? I want to wake up and see my friends. I want to wake up and see my friends. I want to play in the room with the mannequin. I need to find that magic touch in my fingers so I’ll pull the strings in the right way. I need to push this pencil all for me. Down to the delta, those southern blues. Oh, I wouldn’t write them without telling you. Walk south, but look north, and hide your feet. Oh, why would you tell me without telling me?
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6.
Kath 04:58
I’m trying to get to sleep, but I just can’t quit thinking. And I’m so scared of my bed because I cannot block her out when I’m in it. Well, I’m worried all about where exactly I do stand. And I had to talk to someone. You’re my sister and you had to ask, “Am I okay?” I wanted you to need me, but you just needed yourself. And you didn’t have to tell me. I could see I had no chance of changing your mind. I said I’m sorry that I could not be your closest friend. But, I told you that you were mine, and you tried to tell me this: “It’s all the same.” You can’t always be selfish, but I’ll try and help you out. Other people make it. You’ve just got to lose the doubt for me because this is the best I can do. I’d give you this whole city if you’d give me anything. “I’m not going to change.” The notes that I was playing, I can’t remember them. I heard them in the background of something bigger than both of us. The clock is ticking faster than it did before you left. And now I’m resting in the daylight cause the night is too quiet. Is this all it takes? Is time all it takes? Is time all it takes?
7.
I've been alive so long? I’ve hardly noticed that I have been alive at all. So, call me when you head out to the bar. So, call me. We can meet up at the bar. Tattoo my wrists, and feed me all the poison I can take. ‘Cause if there’s more to breathing, I’ve got to learn how to relate. If this cast of brothers mine has to tie me to the ground, I’ve got to know how to just change. I feel like I was wrong. I’ve got to taste it to see if I was getting on to you for just trying to have fun. So, call me when you’re trying to have fun. Tattoo my wrists, and feed me all the poison I can take. ‘Cause if there’s more to breathing, I’ve got to learn to relate. And if this cast of brothers mine has to tie me to the ground, I’ve got to know how to just change. Sometimes I want to move out to some place far off where no one knows a thing about me, but I don’t want to leave my friends. So, tell me not to leave. Tattoo my wrists, and feed me all the poison I can take. ‘Cause if there’s more to breathing, I’ve got to learn to relate. And if this cast of brothers mine has to tie me to the ground, I’ve got to know how to just change.
8.
This cold is unbelievable. This is not the house that I was raised in. I feel just like I’m staring at four white walls… It’s best to be alone at night. I do not even know my friends now, but I have kept away from them for too long… I’m trying hard to talk to God, but what can I say that God does not know? I told him I believed in life and in him…
9.
An Island 03:32
I am a beggar. I am a fool. I can’t say that I ever expected to deal with this too. This place is an island where travelers can rest, and I’ve travelled for years and for hours just holding my breath. The bathrooms are empty, but cars are here parked. And I wonder if strangers just like me lie here in the dark. One song about leaving, one song about hope, and one song of how I am losing all that I have known. I lost my conviction towards trying to stay when I realized I’d been gone, been left by everything. And that feeling of staring straight at it and watching it go when a crowd a concert consumed them and left me alone… I’ll wake up eventually, and when I come around, I’ll make the decision to head back to town. And I’ll try to believe you and do all those things that you said. And if God wants it that way, I’ll keep this idea in my head.
10.
There's not one thing in the world that I care for but myself, and I know that it's wrong. But, I just can't change it. No, I can't change it. I don't know why. And I try, but I can't seem to feel a thing for anybody else. I will kill you in an instant to have myself some fun, and I know that it's wrong. But, still I will do it. I have to do it. I can't say why. And I think that it might be that you are just not anything to me. And I think that you and I have wasted too much of our time on foolish things. I am but a sailor on a boat set for some far off better land, and I'll make it, and I'll make it, and I'll make it. I don't care when. And I'll have another set of blankets to cover up my head. And I'll have another set of pillows to fill up my old bed.

about

This album is a turning point, a transition, a transformation.

My first set of original songs arranged around a common theme.
My first outward expression of vulnerability.
My first attempt to sing my own songs.

A 21 year old boy wrote this album. He stepped forward and breathed life into his words instead of passing them off to someone else or storing away them in a notebook.

He drove through the night after a not-so-unexpected break up and slept in his car at a rest area near his childhood home before waking up to pray on Sunday morning, bidding farewell to his past and transforming into his future.

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released December 31, 2010

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O Youth Knoxville, Tennessee

Songs are tiny, immortal lives that can never really be completed. These are my songs - works in progress. The lyrics, audio, and photos are living entities that will all change over time. If you listen, please enjoy these songs as little creatures who represent specific moments frozen in time and continually reinterpreted. ... more

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